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Undercover Dump: tales of corporate espionage Once upon a time one of our Pigdump operatives was working for a convergence company years before convergence was a going concern (puff puff.) But of course like all the convergence companies that followed, it couldn't make money, ran out of funding and, well, went to sleep with the fishes. But that's another story.
Anyway, one day our hero got a phone call out of the blue from the COO. I mean this operative was NOTHING in that company so why would the COO be calling?
- COO: How many hours has Mr. Fluffychin been booking to your projects?
- Operative: Umm, I'd have to check the Gant chart, Sir.
- COO: And what about old Mr. 4-eyes, he's a partner, why hasn't he been booking any time?
- Op: Well he hasn't been involved...
- COO: Why haven't we seen any PO's from Fluffychin? Isn't he supposed to be in charge?
- Op: Well yes, but he's forever in biz dev meetings...
- COO: And who's keeping track of the budget? What is the budget?
- Op: Umm, they told me there isn't really a budget because...
- COO: That's enough. And remember, we didn't have this conversation.
Yes, that really happened. In fact, later in this operative's career, another odd situation occurred. This time she got a call from a bigwig across the continent...
- Bigwig: Between you and me, this is Johnson's last week. We're making some company changes.
- Op: I see...
- Bigwig: Yep, so I need you to be discreet and not tell anyone. But I also need you to gather up all the info of all Johnson's projects, what's in production, what's in the pipeline...
- Op: ...
- Bigwig: ... and Johnson's contacts, I need names and numbers. We can't let Johnson go without leveraging his assets. It's for the sake of looking after the clients. Get all the info then we'll compare notes.
- Op: But how would I...
- Bigwig: Just be discreet. No one can know. Have a nice day.
These weren't big companies, folks. Nope, just a couple of fun little companies plugging along thinking they were bigger than their bank statement. Yet paranoid and marginally unethical just like the BIG companies in corporate America (Enron and Worldcom for instance.) And our poor little hero having to play a part in this unsavoury business when all she wanted to do was come and work for a smashing little outfit like Pigdump...
I love a happy ending!
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